Supporting Someone with an Eating Disorder

When someone you care about has an eating disorder, the desire to help them is natural. While you can’t force them to recover, your support and understanding can make a significant difference in their journey.

Educate Yourself

• Learn the facts: Dispel myths and misconceptions by researching eating disorders from reliable sources. Understanding the complexity of these illnesses will foster better understanding and reduce judgment.
• Explore resources: Websites of organizations specializing in eating disorders provide information about warning signs, treatment options, and how to support a loved one.

Express Concern with Compassion

• Focus on health, not appearance: Avoid commenting on their weight, shape, or food choices. Instead, gently express concern about eating patterns, mood changes, withdrawal from activities, or other signs you’ve noticed.
• Use “I” statements: Phrases like “I’m worried about you,” or “I’ve noticed you seem unhappy lately” open the door for conversation in a non-accusatory way.
• Be patient and persistent: They may initially deny the problem or become defensive. Let them know you’re there for them and ready to listen when they feel ready to talk.

Encourage Professional Help

• Offer support in seeking treatment: Research local therapists specializing in eating disorders, residential facilities (if needed), and offer to assist in making those initial calls.
• Accompany them: If they’re willing, offer to accompany them to appointments for emotional support.
• Emphasize recovery: Remind them that eating disorders are treatable, and full recovery is possible with the right help.

Being a Supportive Presence

• Listen without judgment: Create a safe space for them to express emotions without trying to offer immediate solutions or downplay their struggles.
• Avoid giving food or diet advice: Well-intentioned comments about food can backfire; treatment professionals will address nutritional needs.
• Don’t take it personally: Irritability, denial, or pushing you away are often symptoms of the eating disorder, not a reflection of how they feel about you.
• Celebrate the small wins: Acknowledge positive steps and efforts, such as attending a therapy session or eating a challenging food.

Taking Care of Yourself

• Set boundaries: You can’t control the other person’s recovery. It’s okay to say “no” sometimes and prioritize your own well-being.
• Seek support for yourself: Consider joining a support group for loved ones of people with eating disorders. Connecting with others who understand offers support and reduces isolation.
• Practice self-care: Stress management techniques, therapy, or simply engaging in activities that bring you joy are essential when you’re supporting someone else through a difficult time.

Remember

Recovery is rarely a straight line. Be prepared for setbacks; continue providing steadfast support and encouragement. Don’t try to “fix them.” Recovery ultimately requires their commitment. Your role is to be a loving and supportive presence, not to control the outcome. Even in the most difficult moments, remember that eating disorders are treatable. With professional support and the love of those around them, people can, and do, find their way to healing.